Alone, never look back

2017-04-30
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Alone, never look back

So long dreaming, the sober. – Preface

Whether by coincidence or not, your last comment was mine, and the last time you replied to my message in last year’s summer vacation, already after half a year ago. I’ve been wondering why you have not replied to my message, is it because I’m angry? Annoy me that I did not make a sound when someone is making fun of we? At that time, I just don’t know how to answer, I feel you is a man prone to serious, I dare not say anything. If not, that is for what? You’ve been to hide too deep, I’m guessing your mind.

So I tossed and turned through your space, each saying, every photo, every message, and then stopped at my one, rejoice the whim to delete messages for your own space in a lot of people are just not cut out for you. I remember every word you said to me, even every look, only to find that you never look into my eyes, you are shy to see me or really dismissive. I tangled this problem all day and night, but received nothing.

Xiaohui told me yesterday, perhaps longge is not mad at me, he just grind is too busy to see news has been a long time, hesitate to return back. Hearing the news, pressure in my heart this day stone finally goes down, heart enlightened. While a stream of losses which I overwhelming, that I to you, which is a familiar stranger, and others are no different. Behaves so differently from so many messages you didn’t answer, also said she was too busy without explanation, because you never care about how I feel and not worry about whether I would want to. All this is just a joke, I ignored only overestimate their own components in your mind. The drama begins with guilt, and finally disappointing. If you can do it again, I would rather not ask Hui that, so that I can always lie to yourself, because you at least mean that you care about, even guilt forever, I will.

People are strange animals, always overestimate the component of in the mind of others, in order to confirm their guesses, kept asking himself questions, if you don’t get the answer, regretted it undermines one’s own dreams. Always thinking, if we are not asking the question, whether there is any different? If you go, do not want to go back to prove, also eventually not his guesses, might not be so sad. Since I have always had such a deep obsession, not from the fear of forgetting, but only once it was wishful thinking on my part, which breeds so much guilt, stubbornly refused to forget. I was lonely, only fantasy he cares.

Taut strings snapped, I become dispirited and confused, even more difficult than before, the previous sad can be said to be due to his departure, now how can I define my loss. Called cocoon, but.

You say we all love Dragon brother, you love yourself, otherwise you will not be informed that he might not like you so panicked, trivial.

Man, walked when walked on, and never looked back, once back, dream break, hearts will be broken.

After a medical, think the human body is an amazing presence. Your every move, emotions, are controlled by the brain this small organization, causing little pieces, large and small, up to dozens of muscles at the same time shrinking. I know old people to die can have myriad, and the ways in which what would be the symptoms and risks, what are painless, like falling asleep.

However, I’m afraid I do not have my life doesn’t belong to me from the moment I was born, I dare not willful self-destructiveness, not daring to live the life they want to, can’t do the things you want to do, can’t even be true to himself, carries too many expectations on my shoulders, very tired, but I have no alternative but to adhere to. Sometimes I envy the Dragon, he finally remove the burden from the shoulders, nothing to think again, and I still want to be in life alone, teetering.

Everyone only know laughed at I laugh points low, is not know most love laugh of people actually most alone, you see not to I alone Shi of low, so not understand I on smile of desire, I too need laugh to balance alone Shi of sad, I just put zhiqian more than 10 years of laugh are saved to has now, so subconscious default will laugh points threshold value reduced, good let its excretion out.

I tried to be like Natsume warm person, no matter how cruel and hard life, heart, no matter how sad, in front of people to act like light wind, even turning moments, the world collapses.

Life is too short, and I have no extra time and energy to hate, so I choose to forgive and forget, whether it is for people but also for

Time is really too strong to extreme, do you have any complaints, all of your grievance, or forgive or forget, it will give you a satisfactory answer. I really am a very impatient person, maybe I will wait for my happiness. I think that I will never hear your name just in tears, just once in a while I think about you, still could not help but sad.

April Fool’s day, I think before someone came to tell me that everything is just a bad dream now wake up, everything was back to reality, you are still there and active.

This many days of rain the next, finally cleared up today, but I was sick for so long, it’s time to heal.

Sunset shines in the evening, I sat in the classroom, head back, eyes closed, listening to the songs, think of you.

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